I remember holidays, like they were yesterday. Family and friends gathered around the living room, mom and grandma in the kitchen preparing the best smelling feast, and the guys outside looking at grandpa's classic car. These are the special moments that will live on forever, and ones I hope to pass down to my kids. Family is everything and time is precious. 

After dad's stroke, mom became his caregiver. She was up day and night, by his side. We visited when we were able, but our young families were active and busy as ever. Mom didn't ever complain and was with dad until the very end. 

When dad passed away, me and my sisters were worried about how mom would do on her own. We would call and text often and she sounded like she was doing just fine. However, being miles away from all of us, we worried about her wellbeing. We knew she had a broken heart and was deeply saddened after losing the love of her life.

We knew mom wasn't getting out of the house as much. Coffee and cards with her friends became less frequent. And many of her friends had also passed away or were moving closer to their adult children. Mom didn't want to be a burden to us kids, and changed the subject quickly anytime we talked about her moving in with one of us. 

One spring day, we received a text from mom saying, "The sun is shining and the flowers are blooming in the garden. I can still see your dad mowing the lawn, making sure the lines were just perfect. But seasons have changed and it's time for me to move on. I've decided it's time for me to sell the house and turn the page to the next chapter of life. I would love your help deciding where my next home might be."

What mom meant, is that she was ready to find a senior living community. She still did not want to burden us kids, even though we fought over who would get her. Mom was giving us the gift we all needed. She was making the decision herself, and starting the conversation none of us wanted to have with her. 

This was the beginning of what became a challenging task. Searching online for the right home for mom was nearly impossible. Where do we start to find independent living near me? How much does assisted living cost? Senior Care Finder was the answer to our prayers.

In one simple search, I sat with mom and found several senior living communities near me. Mom knew of a few of them and had even visited friends in the past. She had heard the meals were great at one community, and that another had numerous levels of care, so she'd never have to move again. We searched, compared, and narrowed down the list. I called the top four or five and setup tours for the following day. 

After touring each of them and meeting up with a few of mom's friends, we sat for a glass of wine and discussed next steps. Mom and I both felt most comfortable with one of the communities. She had friends living there and an added bonus, was the card game going with some residents, as we toured. Mom was a perfect fit.

Looking back, us girls could have been more helpful to mom as she considered her next move. We didn't realize a resource like Senior Care Finder even existed.

My goal is to share this story with other daughters and sons who are in a similar position. Your parents will need time to process these major decisions, but I would highly recommend you begin your search today and start the conversation. After all that mom and dad have done for us, it's our time to give the best gift they ever received.